Thursday, November 8, 2007

Struggling with being a Mom

This morning was rough. I woke up thinking, "I think we'll stay pretty much on track today." I should know by now that when I think that (resting in my own strength) the day seems to go downhill. Schooling's supposed to start at 8:30. I don't know about you, but getting 3 kids, 5 and under, dressed, fed, cleaned up, chores done, etc. by 8:30 is almost impossible unless I'm up at 6 a.m. and everything is prepared the night before. While this is my goal, I seldom seem to accomplish it. Anyways, I lost my temper 3 times this morning before I gave myself a time-out. The Lord's really been helping me in this area, but today, nobody seemed to be aware of what else was going on around the house.

My GB does not talk. At all. He says either "i" or "ish" all day long. In a high-pitched whine. Constantly. This morning, my daughter was explaining to me why she needed help in getting up to the table when my oldest came marching in with a loud, "Mama, I am needing..." Did I mention my GB is always whining in the background? I raised my voice, "Can you both (oldest and daughter) please listen before you speak and find out if any other conversations are taking place? Then you must wait before you speak." They seemed to understand.

Then I sat down to work on my store list/menu. Did I mention that we're attempting grocery shopping this afternoon? As I'm trying to think of preparing food for GB over Thanksgiving vacation, what needs to be made for GB (we're out of his food and he can't eat what we're eating for the next few days), our menu and schooling supplies that need to be purchased for science experiments next week, I hear GB start his panicked crying. I ran over to find my daughter putting a plastic box over his head and holding it on him. I still have no idea why she was doing this, but I lost my temper again (#2).

I then sat my oldest down for math work, told my daughter that I needed to concentrate on my list and to play nicely. This is what I heard for the next 5 minutes -- "Mommy, isn't this a great 2? Mommy, this is the best 7 I've ever made! Mommy, could you come see my circle? It's perfect. Mommy, could you look at the words I made? Mommy, do I need to do the next page? Mommy..." My sanctification, which was already holding by a thread for the day, was lost. "Can't you guys see that I need to concentrate on what I'm doing?! I can't keep answering questions and then figuring out where I am in my thought process again. Don't you see that?" (Of course, they can't.) I gave myself a time out.

I called my husband and he told me that I need to be proactive. His advice was helpful, but it required more brain cells than I felt were available, so I kept myself locked away until I could sort out my thoughts and finish my list. I finally finished it!

By the way, if anyone's interested, I'm starting through a study on anger in my devotions. I've read this book before but I've just recently purchased the study guide and would like to go through it again. I struggle with raising my voice at my children, especially when I'm frustrated and this book is a wonderful reminder from Scripture that that's never appropriate. I'm looking forward to the study. I'm sure my children are too!

No comments: